Sophia Demetriades Toftdahl

Good morning,

I have discovered a great explanation for something that I do a lot, but didn’t have a very good term for.

This is something that will help you get out of the problem-solving rut that many of us get into when we try and out-think something, our uni work, applying for jobs, does he like me, am I too sexy for my t-shirt? think think think, you name it.

Maybe you have a major problem with writing an assignment or putting together you resume.

Maybe you can’t get your housemate to pay their bills.

Maybe you are having trouble thinking of a new gift for your friend.

Whatever problem you may have, there are always a million, because that’s part of the beauty with living your life and mapping it out with great solutions.

There are no rules, and there is no manual.

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Here we are, on to another Monday… My legs are still sore from running a half marathon this weekend, luckily I don’t type with my toes…. ha ha ha.

Today’s Dream Internship Tip sheet is a sneaky little way to get noticed, even if you sometimes feel like you’re just one of the crowd.

If you are looking to get a job, and you want to get a head start on all the other applicants, then this is something for you!

Here goes:

One if the biggest issues with sending email resume applications to employers, is getting it read by the right person at the right time.

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By Tim Molineux and Sophia Demetriades

http://bmediaradioadelaide.com/y-2012-5/program-3/

By Dream Internship (Ref Grant & Leigh 2011)

1. Goals and Values

2. Altruism and Kindness

3. Mindfulness

4. Stengths and Solutions

5. Gratitude

6. Forgiveness

7. Social Networks

8. Reflect, renew, review

The education landscape is rapidly moving towards a renaissance of program delivery. People are increasingly interested in personalised and customised programs suited to the individual of the 21st century.

An important idea in the definition of a university is the notion of academic freedom. Interestingly however, academic freedom is no longer the reality of today’s university practice. If academic freedom refers to the freedom of inquiry by students and faculty members as essential to the mission of the academy, it is long lost. No field is generalised and standardised and limited by beurocracy more so than the university.  Continue reading →

Why?

“I inspire others to do what inspires them”, Simon Sinek says in his famous TED talks and world wide presentations. Simons model, the golden circle, teaches organisations to speak to the why, rather than explain just what they do. If you do however wonder what Simon does, he conducts leadership training for organisations, and also teaches leadership at Columbia University in New York. You can read more about Simon here. This week, I had the pleasure of meeting Simon in person at BusinessChicks in Sydney. BusinessChicks is a women’s network headed by Emma Isaacs, and they often host fantastic events with top notch speakers Australia wide.

Simon really inspires me. Not because of what he does, but because of what he says. You can read his blog here, and you will quickly understand that Simon has learnt to speak to the why.

Buried within the cerebrum the limbic system, often referred to as the “emotional brain”, support and control our emotions, our behaviour, and our long term memory (Campellone 2011). The limbic brain also controls our decision making, and visionaries and leaders who inspire action, are often people who speak to the limbic brain (Sinek 2010). Driven by cause, purpose and belief, some entrepreneurs who speak to the ‘why’ and thus inspire people who believe the same as what they believe. According to Sinek (2010), this ability is what sets companies and people such as Steve Jobs and Apple, Richard Branson and Virgin, Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement, apart from others. They create a vision and image based on their own passion.

With this backdrop, I would like to share my vision with you. I believe that what people want the most, is for their dreams to come true. Too often however, fear of failure or success hold people back from realising their dreams. Another inspiration to me, Sir Ken Robinson, explain that the reason for this is because people grow up being taught what not to do or to conform rather than to do what makes them happy. This he says, stifles creativity. Similar to myself Robinson battles the unsexy stigma of education as an occupation. We fight beliefs such as ‘academia is for people who cant do’ or ‘education is for people who don’t know’. None the less, when people are asked about their education, they are sensitive, either stating how good it is, or excusing how limited it is. But education does not come from academia. There is a learning experience in everything you do. It’s just that we rarely stop to contemplate what we actually learn from the situations we put ourselves in. And then of course, you always come across those who never learn. I know thats not you.

We all however let our personalities shape at least one area of our life where we never learn, or should I say never change. However most of use are ready for change. Most of us are changing and working towards something bigger and better. That is the human in us, that is biology leading us in the right direction. We all know what we are dreaming about. We all know where we want to go. What we don’t know, is how to get there. And for that reason, we let ourselves scare. If only we dreamt out loud, if only we told people what we really honestly wanted, and then went to go for it, we would have our dreams come true. And this is why Robinson and Sinek both inspire me so much. Because they have taught me to feel comfortable about my dreams. Because when I found them I realised there are people out in the world who believe exactly what I believe. Because I have learnt to dream out loud, by believing in myself, and by stepping up to the challenge when things become uncomfortable.

So, if you don’t know it already, if you don’t know what it is that I dream about, here goes:

“My vision is to offer the most innovative and engaging education programs available – in the eyes of my stakeholders, communities and individuals”.

As a result, through DIA’s programs and services, I will add to life’s enjoyment by helping people develop to the best of their abilities which will help me develop to the best of my abilities.

This will testimony my leadership in offering education programs that enable and transform the way people and business find, manage, interact and communicate with one another, and thus make me part of a company that understands and satisfies the education, entertainment and self-actualization needs of our stakeholders.

In short, my dreams are realized through yours. Why? Because it makes me feel happy, balanced, and important. I love helping others.

And so when I met with Simon this week and asked him about his why, he said out loud the dreams I have inside. He believes what I believe, and spoke to me and my why:

“I inspire people to do the things that inspire them so that a vast majority of people come home at the end of the day fulfilled by the work they do. The ultimate goal is world peace. People who love what they do come home fulfilled and make better husbands, wives, moms, dads, children, neighbors and friends. And when we’re better people, driven by what fulfills us, there’s a better chance we’ll care about each other.”

So that I can get to know you better, what is your why?

We’ve all heard it before; ‘it’s not what you know, but who you know’ or, ‘it’s not what you know it’s what you do with it’, or ‘it’s not who you know, its how you manage who you know’. No mater the quote, the message is clear; its definitely not what you know and you need to make an effort to manage those you know, because future business is born through networks!

Unfortunately, many of us are not efficient networkers. Excusitis claims reasons such as: “I ‘m too shy”, “it hasn’t worked in the past”, “I don’t have time” etc etc. But can you really afford not to network when its the number one reason for business success? and when the number one reason people will leave your business is because they think you don’t care about them? Can you really afford not to show someone you care? Continue reading →

You can predict success and failure in business and personal relationships with 87.4% accuracy, right from the start!

How?

Self-Awareness.

Learning from relationship researcher and marriage expert Gottman’s (2012) formula to predict marital stability and divorce in couples, we can predict with 87.4% accuracy if a marriage will last in only 4 minutes, and we can apply this to all our relationships.

Here are the 4 major relationships killers:

1. Avoidance 

The first and most often employed tactic in destroying relationships is avoiding conflict or people. When you avoid conflict – either because you are unaware of your own feelings or afraid of arguing – a situation can escalate. Rather than confronting the issue with your partner, you disengage the conversation, and when this happens repeatedly, the problems tend to accumulate.

Solution: open communication and constructive feedback

2. Criticism (blame)

Different from having an opinion or complaint, criticizing others is a form of attack that chips away at their confidence and self-esteem. A complaint would go like this: “You’re an hour late, I was starting to get worried – can you call me next time you’re running late?” This is criticism: “You’re late again. I was worried! You never think about how your behavior affects other people. Would it kill you to think about someone other than yourself for once?”

Solution: constructive feedback focussing on the situation and not the person

3. Defensiveness (excuses)

It’s natural to be defensive when you feel like you’re being accused of something. However, defensive communication generally creates more tension. When you excuse your behavior rather than take responsibility, and say things such as ‘I was busy at work/the bus ran late/My training ran over’ instead of taking ownership as to why you’ve not done what you promised, you reinforce that your reason (work/traffic/gym) is more important than them.

Solution: know what/who is important and value time management to avoid fire

4. Contempt

It’s a direct disrespect to others to believe you are more important than them. We often use unhelpful body language such as eye-rolling, or use sarcasm or ridicule un knowingly. This can make others feel worthless and unloved, and rarely moves the conversation forward in a positive way.

Solution: gain awareness of your body language by asking for feedback

Awareness of general mistakes means that you can avoid them and transform your relationships. Having a clear understanding of how others perceive you as genuine thus provide a scientific strategy for the success of your personal and professional relationships.

A long term strategy in short; self-awareness and self-observance can save relationship breakdowns in any area of your life.

A Game Changing insight!

A relationship Manager is a professional who works to improve relationships. Relationship Management is generally divided into three fields including businesses relationship management (BRM), customers relationship management (CRM), and between individuals  as interpersonal relationship management (IRM). The latter describing a modern practice combining human resource management, coaching and mentoring, and public relations. All three fields share the common goal of facilitating effective relationships such that the business or individual  maximizes the value of their relationships and maintain a good reputation over all.

Relationships have traditionally been regarded as an intangible aspect of business that was inherently difficult to assess or manage. Relationship Managers are part of a movement that seeks to use a scientific approach to gain greater control over business and personal relationships. Relationship Managers seek to define, quantify and analyze relationships so that they are not left u up to chance.

In 2010, Sophia Demetriades released a white paper that helps people understand, solve and decide upon common issues in the sphere of business to business marketing, business to customer marketing, internal stakeholder relations and interpersonal relationship building. The paper is based on interviews with more than 300 entrepreneurs, SMB owners, employees, interns and students and surveys of her mentees and clients over the last 7 years.

More recently, Demetriades (2012) has published several articles and papers on how these issues interact across three fields and which she believes will merge over the coming 10. With the backdrop of this research, she predicts a future landscape where entrepreneurship, human resources and public relations together shape a new trend for education of the individuals of the 21st century. Please note that she has chosen to define public relations also on scandinavian terms. Thus, the definitions must be understood in context prior to embarking upon her interpretations, which came to life during a study of small business communications.

Demetriades believe that current HR practitioners will move away from their recruitment offices and become coaches and mentors – and thus replace, or at the very least reduce, the presence of the university in our current society. After all, due to technology and the internet, western societies have  greater access to knowledge and may not need the university on the same level as previously. We may see that the university will return to its origin where small groups or student teacher relationships become the norm. Imagine the early days of Plato and Aristotle, walking through the university hall in Athens, depicting the true meaning of university, designed for advanced learning for people as part of ‘the whole’, or ‘the society’.

The merging and emerging fields of human resources, public relations and entrepreneurship

The recent changes in the landscape of relationship management has been suggested as a result of three over arching factors (Demetriades 2010). The factor include; the last decades evolvement of Human Resource Management (HRM), the last 50 years development of the Public Relations (PR) field (including socialist interpretation of PR), and the increased global increase in entrepreneurial ventures. Together with the development and availability of technology and the internet, these three fields are affected by and affect public education. Using communications and management theories to interlink the three fields, we can look towards a future trend shaping the education landscape. More specifically, examining how management and communications theory introduces relationship theory as they become the practical solution to our existence.  Continue reading →

Living in Sydney is like being head over heals in love with a beautiful person. On a good day, you can spend hours admiring their beauty, gazing into their eyes, dreaming about their wonderfulness. On the weekend, you can explore their mysterious lane ways and buy them flowers and jam at the saturday markets. Amazing time will pass by.

On a grey day, you can’t help but pick at their flaws, look for mistakes and feel frustrated that one and the same can be so incredibly beautiful and yet so incredibly annoying. You know inside that its not Sydney’s fault, yet you cast blame for all your own incapabilities. You don’t want to blame, its not Sydney’s fault, and blaming is not nice. You just can’t help needing to project your own dark side onto the city that kicks you when you are down, even though you know that it’s yourself thats kicking. You never leave because it embraces you when you are high. When you are away, your heart will carry the memories.

It can be so shallow, and it can be the most profound, the deepest love. So deep that it stabs you on the inside. Out loud, you say that you are completely platonic in your admiration. Purely spiritual, free from sensual desire. Everybody knows the truth, that you have fallen, head over heals. How can you not, when it’s licked your naked body in public, making you soar above its high rising buildings, between its dark warehouses, under its rich offices.

It has the ability to make you feel like a sophisticated socialite drinking champagne in the harbor on Fridays, a foxy lady in KX on Saturdays, or like a coffee drinking Boheme in Surry Hills on Sundays. A secret is not a secret if it is shared. That is the only thing that sets your relationship with Sydney apart from any other. You can share a secret, and it’s exciting, and it’s right in front of you, you’re living in it. And the theme music changes every day, depending on the the street your on. I thought I would never say anything as ridiculous as this: whilst it ruthlessly rips me apart, Sydney completes me.  

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